To Aid You in the Early Days

A couple quick asides:

*Posts this month will be brief. I am participating in National Novel Writing Month. The goal? To write 50,000 words during the month of November. At the end of week one I am 12020 words in and working hard to maintain momentum…

*Thanks to my friend Trish for the photograph I am currently using as my blog header.

And now on to business…

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So many of my loved ones have had babies in the last several months (two in the last week), and it always takes me back to the early days of breastfeeding. Here's a list of ten things I wish I had known before I began breastfeeding:

1. That my boobs would not resemble each other in the least. They were certainly not a "pair." Rather, one nipple pointed up, one pointed down, the right nipple was about an inch lower than the left and my left breast was generally twice as big as the right one. If you feel like giving your partner a scare, flash your "new" girls and see what kind of reaction you get.

2. That I would have lumpy looking boobs thanks to the breast pads I had to wear at all times. You know, because my boobs would leak whenever they felt like it. And this didn't just last "the first few weeks" as is so often stated. No, this lasted for months. I tried several different brands of breast pads, disposable pads, re-washable pads (my ultimate preference, though they are thicker). This discovery works in close conjunction with #3… which is:

3. That none of my regular (i.e. pre-pregnancy) shirts would fit. Not that I wear hoochie clothes to begin with, but my form-fitting shirts became obscene. Nearly everything was too tight (and as you learned from #2, looked even more horrible due to the lumpy factor). Finally I gave in and bought a few new shirts, bitter that my boobs were now the cause of even more temporary clothes.

4. That I would feel like a 24-hour, buffet-style milk dispenser. I knew the little rascal would be eating frequently, especially in the early weeks, but damn, it felt like I had no sooner put him down and hoovered some lunch (or showered, or done one load of laundry, or paid one bill, or…), then he'd wake up and was ready to go again. Get used to this simple fact: for some time, life will revolve entirely around your boobs.

5. That buying a nursing bra before the baby comes, while it seems practical, will probably spell disaster. Sure your boobs get huge during pregnancy and you will think to yourself, "Surely they won't get any bigger." Just wait. Just wait and see.

6. That hot water pelting your breasts, in the early weeks of breastfeeding, will feel like torture. Suddenly showering is equal parts pleasure and pain. Drying your nipples off with a towel may bring you to tears. Proceed with caution. It's a sensitive area.

7. That it might take a long time for your baby to get it right, to be a "good" eater. One boob may be more enticing (or full) than the other. Your baby may have a hard time staying awake as he eats, latching on, etc. It's okay to become frustrated. You're both learning a new skill. Cry if you need to. This is hard work.

8. That once your baby starts sleeping for longer stretches at night, while it sounds heavenly in theory, will initially be quite painful for your boobs as they adjust to the longer period between feedings. You will believe your boobs are capable of exploding. Have your pump handy, otherwise you will be tempted to wake your little one for some relief.

9. That there will be nipple abuse. Your baby isn't doing this intentionally, of course, though in your sleep-deprived state you will begin to question whether or not he's capable of such things. Whether it's clicking, pulling back and stretching your nipple to its limits, or plain old chomping down, there will be trauma. Just know it gets better with time.

10. That there will come a point when you can see the beauty in what you are doing, sleep deprived or not, and that the bond you form with your child will become one you treasure. Now get your boob out.

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What has been/was your most surprising discovery about breastfeeding? Leave a comment and add to the list...