A (Frog) Pot to Piss On

I didn’t anticipate potty training being such a hot-button topic.  But here we are.

I’ve always known from the get-go that I would want to potty train our kids early.  For reasons I couldn’t always articulate it simply made sense.  Why wait?  Why buy diapers for years (and then Pull-Ups, etc.)?  Why not train them before it turns into such a battle?

Of course, like so many other aspects of parenting, it comes down to what is going to work best for each individual family.  There are a lot of factors to consider, least of which is the fact that it IS a huge time commitment, and a long, long process.  I can see why so many people would choose to put it off.  Why not, right?

When I mentioned to a couple people that we were going to start training Eli soon, I was met with surprised looks, and comments to match.  Nothing negative, per say, more of an astonishment that I would start so early.

I, along with my brothers, were close to being fully potty trained when we were one.  That’s right, one.  At first I thought maybe this was one of those moments where parents look back and exaggerate the facts, perhaps the memories have gotten foggy and they just round to a convenient number.  But no, we were in fact potty trained then, and this was not considered unusual at the time, though the shift had begun, the groundwork had been laid for the current trend of delaying training.

I felt conflicted about the responses I was getting.  Should we wait?  Were we pushing Eli too soon?  There has been a lot going on in our lives lately, a lot of transition, and maybe this wasn’t the best time to establish a routine with him.

Looking for further opinions on the matter I went online (babycenter.com, where I belong to Eli’s “birth month” club, a group where parents of babies born in October 2009 can discuss what is currently going on with their child with parents of other similarly-aged children).

I saw a post that declared another parent had started potty training.  Hopeful, I clicked on it.  The parent voiced some of the same concerns I had and was looking for guidance.  Someone posted a book that had been helpful to their family:  Diaper-Free Before 3, by Jill M. Lekovic, M.D.  The poster noted it wasn’t necessarily the best how-to book (and it’s not) but that it talked about how our culture has gotten to its current stance on potty training, and why for many reasons it’s more healthy, effective, and realistic to start early. 

I was immediately intrigued and decided to read the book. 

I won’t bore you with details, though I will say if you are considering potty training early it’s an excellent resource on the history and recent changes in the attitude on potty training.  Much of the current shift is due in large part to Dr. Brazleton, and his “child readiness approach.”  You can Google his name for more info or check out this quick snippet here.

I was pleased that the book served to confirm my instincts about why I wanted to start now. 

A friend of mine gave us a potty a few months back and it’s been sitting in our bathroom ever since.  Eli was and is, of course, fascinated by it.  I always explain to him it’s his potty, and show him the sign for potty.  Occasionally, I would sit him on it fully clothed, just to get him used to it.  We’ve since moved to a smaller frog potty, which he loves (the other one was too big for him … his feet didn’t even reach the floor, and yes, this is important).

There have been other signs he’s ready:  He hates getting his diaper changed (especially #2’s), always kicking and struggling.  He’s at an age where he tries to mimic everything we do.  Finally, he has, um, rather predictable signals when he’s about to do a #2.  As my MIL pointed out, “If you know he’s going to do it, that’s the perfect time to try sitting him on the pot.”  I agreed. 

So one day I decided, “Screw it.  Let’s just start this.  It feels like the right time.”

Eli is not quite fifteen months old, and we’ve been actively training him for two weeks now.  I decided that since I’m due with our second child in less than three months, now would be the best time in the foreseeable future to spend time with him, unrushed, as he gets acclimated to this change.

How’s he doing?  It feels strange to report my child’s bathroom habits (although it’s a constant topic of discussion in our household), but I will say I couldn’t be more proud of him.  We barely ever change a #2 diaper, unless we’re out and about, and in the last couple of days he’s even started to do the sign for potty on his own, letting me know he has to go (with only one false alarm thus far). 

I’m not going to lie: I never thought he would catch on this quickly.  Not to say we don’t have a long ways to go.  We do.  But the progress he’s made in two weeks, from being fussy and momentarily upset each time we set him down, to now, giving us the sign that he needs to go?  I’m amazed.

All this being said, I’m sure others may think me critical of their decision to delay training.  Not at all.  While I do think there are some health benefits to completing training earlier, not to mention the potential for fewer hurdles, it’s like anything else: We do what works.