I’ll admit, looking back wasn’t much fun. When I think about where I was a year
ago: super sleep deprived, struggling to get Sophie to nurse or drink fluids of
any kind, struggling in my quest to get her to sleep through the night, well,
it doesn’t flood me with warm memories.
In fact, when I think about the first year-and-a-half of Sophie’s life,
I realize that there are large chunks of time missing from my memory.
For instance, I honestly don’t remember Christmas 2011. Sure, we had just arrived in Grand
Rapids from Los Angeles on December 20th, Vinny going into his
hiatus, and we had all of four days to throw Christmas together. And we did. But other than a trip to Target to buy our fake Christmas
tree and ornaments, and a trip to Toys R Us to buy the kids a play kitchen, I
don’t remember any of it (And seriously, these are the things I do remember? Why?).
So looking back… not so fun.
On the other hand, I cannot remember the last time I felt so
excited for a New Year to begin. I
have a good feeling about 2013.
Now that I am back to maybe ¼ brain function, am sleeping a bit better,
and have these fleeting moments of clarity, I feel as though some of my
long-dormant creativity is anxious to escape. Couple that with some ambitious business ideas = color me
happy.
But in the midst of this looking forward and looking back
and getting caught up in all that end of the year/beginning of the next,
top-ten lists of everything under the sun whirlwind, I begin to feel
overloaded. Somehow, the end of
the year does that to us. We want
a recap in case we missed anything, or forgot about something that happened
earlier in the year when we weren’t paying attention, or we need a preview of
what’s to come, to feel assured that yes, this next year is going to kick ass
all over the place.
Maybe it will.
Maybe it won’t.
Instead of overwhelming ourselves looking in every
direction, why don’t we do as Garth used to say and “Live in the now,
Man!”
Seriously.
While I like to take time to reflect on what has been and what is to
come, it is a hell of a lot harder to live in the moment with any kind of
regularity.
Have you tried it?
Really tried it? As in, not
flitting about from one to-do to the next, not sticking to your schedule day in
and day out, not getting it all done before taking a minute to enjoy what you
have right now? To look at your
loved ones and truly see them? To
be fully present with them?
I’ve always struggled with being fully present in the
moment, long before I was a parent.
Becoming a parent only exacerbated the situation. Now there truly are a lot of things
that need to be done each day, because, well, the kids can’t take care of
themselves and if we don’t do it then there will be some problems. So I find it even more challenging to
be present as I tackle the day-to-day demands of parenting.
It seems silly.
What is my favorite moment of any day? The moment where I sit down with the kids and interact with
them, with no other expectation in mind, no lurking “this needs to be done”
thought creeping in. When I am
simply with them I am happiest, and so are they.
You’d think this would be reinforcement enough to make it a
constant and easily-remembered habit, and yet it’s not. Quite often, it takes daily reminding
to stop, slow down, and be with them.
So go ahead, reflect, plot what’s to come, get excited about
the myriad possibilities that any New Year brings. But then remember to sit down, take a deep breath, and live
in the now.
P.S. This post reminds me of my favorite fortune cookie fortune: Stop looking; happiness is right in front of you.
No comments:
Post a Comment