Snuggle Your Snoogle

My husband hates my Snoogle pillow.

Early in my first pregnancy it became apparent that I do not sleep well while pregnant. Initially I chalked it up to the thrill and excitement of being pregnant. My mind was constantly swirling with a thousand disparate thoughts. How could anyone rest with so much going on in their brain? After a few weeks of this, though, I was sleep-deprived, stiff, sore, and getting increasingly cranky. Did I mention I was also writing my Master's thesis during this time?

What is a pregnant girl to do? I started to research natural sleep remedies. Warm milk, a hot shower or bath, exercise, meditation, no screens of any kind a few hours before bed, some pleasant reading. I tried it all and none of it did a damn bit of good.

When I complained to anyone that would listen about the unfairness of not being able to sleep when I was so clearly exhausted, I was generally met with this response: "It's good practice for when the baby comes."

I’m sorry, practice? Does anyone need to practice NOT sleeping? As though over time you'll simply "get better" at it? So that way, when the baby actually comes I'll already be so sleep-deprived that I'll be half out of my mind?

This didn't make any sense to me, and I'll admit, I had to restrain myself from lashing out when I received this stock response. Now I say it to others, but always in a mocking, there's-no-way-they-don't-know-I'm-kidding tone.

Part of the problem was that I couldn't get comfortable in bed. My hips in particular would get so stiff that I would wake and need to flip over about every hour or so during the night. This was in addition to the other two+ times I needed to get up and pee. So at best, I was managing maybe an hour-and-a-half of sleep at a stretch. Yes, perhaps this would be my nighttime schedule once the baby came. But that babe was still safely tucked into my belly and I wanted to savor every moment of sleep I could get until the day he arrived.

I started to look at pregnancy pillows online. Let me say now, I am not one for having a thousand pillows on or near my bed, nor do I sleep with more than one pillow, ever. So the thought of more pillows seemed silly, but I was getting desperate.

Then I stumbled upon it: The Snoogle Total Body Pillow. Stupid name, yes, but there were so many glowing reviews on the Babies R Us website that I had to restrain myself from immediately jumping in the car and driving to the nearest store to buy it. Could I really spend $50 on a pillow?

As I continued through the reviews, moved to tears by the miracles it was working with all these other pregnant women, I knew I had found my solution. This pillow was going to give me the best damn night of sleep I had had in four months, and that was worth $50. It was worth double that if I slept for six to eight hours straight as some women claimed to do with the Snoogle.

This is what happens when I'm pregnant: I'm like an infomercial customer to the extreme. You tell me your product is awesome and I am going to buy it. Why? I'm tired, I'm cranky, I’m emotional-as-hell, and worst of all: I believe you.

So off I went to buy my newest favorite thing in the world. When my husband got home from work and saw the pillow unfurled on the bed, taking up the space of an additional person in our already cramped full size bed, he looked doubtful.

"Really?" he asked.

And I nodded. Oh yes, this was going to fix everything.

I went to bed that night ready to be dazzled.

And dazzled I (mostly) was.

Did I sleep six to eight hours straight? No, but I clocked a three hour stretch, my best in weeks. Even better, I didn't need to flip as often during the night, and awoke with my hips feeling only mildly stiff.

Was the Snoogle worth every last penny? Over time, yes.

I never slept a six to eight hour stretch, ever, during my entire pregnancy. After awhile, I stopped letting this frustrate me as much, and learned to be thankful for the stretches I was getting. I realized that perhaps this was the way life was going to be, for a long time, and instead of fighting it every step of the way, I should give in and catch cat naps when I could during the day.

Either way, I loved my Snoogle pillow. It did help, although during summer nights in L.A., it did make for some very hot, uncomfortable sleep. It also forced my husband into a corner of the bed and drove him nuts. He complained he couldn't cuddle me with that barrier between us (a valid complaint; one I shared). He'd lift the end of the pillow, pretending it was a snake, and attack me with it. He longed for the day I could pack it away.

That day didn't come until about two months after I gave birth to Eli. With my c-section incision painful for several weeks, I still needed the extra support at night. When the big day came, it felt good to get that Snoogle-Monster out of our bed.

I knew when I got pregnant the second time around that my husband would grumble when I got the Snoogle pillow out. I held out as long as possible before tossing it onto the bed one night, about 15 weeks into my pregnancy.

"I need it," was all I said.

"I know," was all he said.

And he hasn't made one remark since. Did I mention that I love my Snoogle AND my husband?

To Aid You in the Early Days

A couple quick asides:

*Posts this month will be brief. I am participating in National Novel Writing Month. The goal? To write 50,000 words during the month of November. At the end of week one I am 12020 words in and working hard to maintain momentum…

*Thanks to my friend Trish for the photograph I am currently using as my blog header.

And now on to business…

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So many of my loved ones have had babies in the last several months (two in the last week), and it always takes me back to the early days of breastfeeding. Here's a list of ten things I wish I had known before I began breastfeeding:

1. That my boobs would not resemble each other in the least. They were certainly not a "pair." Rather, one nipple pointed up, one pointed down, the right nipple was about an inch lower than the left and my left breast was generally twice as big as the right one. If you feel like giving your partner a scare, flash your "new" girls and see what kind of reaction you get.

2. That I would have lumpy looking boobs thanks to the breast pads I had to wear at all times. You know, because my boobs would leak whenever they felt like it. And this didn't just last "the first few weeks" as is so often stated. No, this lasted for months. I tried several different brands of breast pads, disposable pads, re-washable pads (my ultimate preference, though they are thicker). This discovery works in close conjunction with #3… which is:

3. That none of my regular (i.e. pre-pregnancy) shirts would fit. Not that I wear hoochie clothes to begin with, but my form-fitting shirts became obscene. Nearly everything was too tight (and as you learned from #2, looked even more horrible due to the lumpy factor). Finally I gave in and bought a few new shirts, bitter that my boobs were now the cause of even more temporary clothes.

4. That I would feel like a 24-hour, buffet-style milk dispenser. I knew the little rascal would be eating frequently, especially in the early weeks, but damn, it felt like I had no sooner put him down and hoovered some lunch (or showered, or done one load of laundry, or paid one bill, or…), then he'd wake up and was ready to go again. Get used to this simple fact: for some time, life will revolve entirely around your boobs.

5. That buying a nursing bra before the baby comes, while it seems practical, will probably spell disaster. Sure your boobs get huge during pregnancy and you will think to yourself, "Surely they won't get any bigger." Just wait. Just wait and see.

6. That hot water pelting your breasts, in the early weeks of breastfeeding, will feel like torture. Suddenly showering is equal parts pleasure and pain. Drying your nipples off with a towel may bring you to tears. Proceed with caution. It's a sensitive area.

7. That it might take a long time for your baby to get it right, to be a "good" eater. One boob may be more enticing (or full) than the other. Your baby may have a hard time staying awake as he eats, latching on, etc. It's okay to become frustrated. You're both learning a new skill. Cry if you need to. This is hard work.

8. That once your baby starts sleeping for longer stretches at night, while it sounds heavenly in theory, will initially be quite painful for your boobs as they adjust to the longer period between feedings. You will believe your boobs are capable of exploding. Have your pump handy, otherwise you will be tempted to wake your little one for some relief.

9. That there will be nipple abuse. Your baby isn't doing this intentionally, of course, though in your sleep-deprived state you will begin to question whether or not he's capable of such things. Whether it's clicking, pulling back and stretching your nipple to its limits, or plain old chomping down, there will be trauma. Just know it gets better with time.

10. That there will come a point when you can see the beauty in what you are doing, sleep deprived or not, and that the bond you form with your child will become one you treasure. Now get your boob out.

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What has been/was your most surprising discovery about breastfeeding? Leave a comment and add to the list...