I fell off the blogging wagon
(again) for, well, a long time. The last few months have seen a lot of
changes on the home front (a total kitchen demo, a new job, little one back to
school, the other in speech therapy - you know, life). In the midst of
trying to juggle a new-to-me schedule, job and an in-home construction zone, I floundered when it
came time to care for myself.
This is nothing new, of course.
Even before I had kids, I was an expert when it came to putting the needs
of others before my own. Most of us are experts in this realm; sadly, it
becomes second nature to neglect ourselves.
Well, after years of doing this,
my body let me know about it. Hello, adrenal fatigue. You suck.
I've spent the last year + trying
to integrate self-care into my daily life as I slowly recover from adrenal
fatigue. In theory this concept strikes me as basic enough, but when you
start to delve into self-care, the things you “should” be doing to take optimal
care of yourself—and let's face it: depending on what you read or care to
believe in, this could be just about anything—well, it can become another
stressor in your life. Am I eating well enough? Oh shit, I
shouldn't have eaten that fourth crab rangoon before I mowed down that entree. Am I exercising
enough? Does running up and down
the stairs ten times a day chasing the kids count? It should. Am I getting enough sleep? We all know answer to that.
A couple weeks back I came across
this article: “Is Your Self-Care Regime Turning Into a Stressful Job? 3 Ways to Practice Optimal Self-Care”
Oh, boy. Did this one resonate. Mostly, this:
Ask yourself first and foremost, "What do I need today?" This is a simple yet oh-so-powerful question, because it
acknowledges that you -- your mind and your body -- are the expert and know
what's best. We all too often trust other people's advice more than we trust
ourselves, when in reality each day is different. Some days you might need
grounding energy. Other days you might need airy, light energy. Give yourself
the freedom to adjust your self-care regime to meet you where you are.
Especially for us women, it's important to be in tune with our monthly cycles
and acknowledge that our body has different needs throughout the month.
* * *
* *
I've already put this valuable suggestion into action.
A few weeks ago Vinny was heading to his folks to deliver some prints and
take winter photos. My mind saw an opportunity to be husband and kid-free
for a long weekend… for the first time ever. Ever. We went back and
forth on him taking the kids, but that question, "What do I need?"
kept creeping in. What I needed was a break. Some quiet.
So I asked for it. And it happened. It wasn’t the weekend I had hoped
for. One ice storm, leaky bathroom
ceiling, and tumble down our back steps later, I was a bruised and sore
mess. Still, it was a break, one I
mostly spent in pain on the couch watching terrible films. I relished every minute.
Listening to what your body is trying to tell you isn’t as
simple as it sounds, at least not at first. During this process, I have also discovered another
by-product of asking myself "What do I need?" It means asking
for help more than I normally would - which is almost never. I am
terrible at this, still. I like to believe I can shoulder it all on my
own because that's the way I've always been. I'm stubborn and
independent, a good combo in some situations, but certainly not all.
I don't do resolutions anymore, for lots of reasons.
The last few years I've shifted my focus to setting an intention or a
creative goal instead of placing a limitation or unrealistic expectation on
myself. This year, I will continue to ask myself, "What do I need
today?" The simple act of asking has been transformative, and I hope
it becomes a deep-rooted habit over time.
What about you?
What do YOU need today?
Give yourself some time and space to figure it out.
