Distance = Perspective (and mush).

You may have noticed the time between postings has been getting longer and longer these days…

Yes, there is a reason.

It’s called being a single parent.  Of course, I am not truly a single parent, something I am grateful for.  However, Vinny is currently working 2,500 miles from home, so at least temporarily I am living the single parent life.

And I have to say: I don’t know how single parents do it.  I am in complete and total awe of any parent that can hack this on their own day in and day out.  I want to give each and every one of them a medal … or a break.

These days I miss the obvious things: help with the kids, an adult in the house to talk to, having my partner to snuggle, doing activities as a family, being able to run an errand all by myself. 

But one of the things I’ve realized (and in a big way) is that I cherish sharing all these moments with Vinny.  It’s an amazing experience to raise children.  However, without your partner to share all those moments with, well, for me it’s less fulfilling … like there is something critical missing each and every day.

And, clearly, there is.  One-quarter of our family is missing, and we feel that hole constantly. 

So I’ve been finding myself, even in moments of frustration, exhaustion, and general crankiness, also feeling very thankful these days.  So often, life doesn’t work out exactly the way you want it to.  We would prefer that Vinny have steady work here, all the time, so that he wouldn’t have to travel, but that isn’t the case presently. 

It would be easy to dwell on the negative aspects of this situation, but at the end of the day what I am reminded of most is how lucky we are to have the life we do: at least there is work, there is a family unit we treasure, there is a place to call home, there is food on our table (albeit with an empty place setting lately). 

We feel our way through life the best we can.  I try to find lessons when things are tough, to learn more about myself.  The last four months I have learned that I can do it on my own if needed (including handling an infestation of mice in our kitchen).  I have learned that I love having my family all together, all the time.  I have learned that it’s impossible to wash dishes with oven mitts on (yes, we are still working on sleep over here).  I have learned most of all that I cannot imagine living my life without Vinny at my side each day. 

Okay, so I’ve also learned that I get a little mushy when Vinny isn’t around.  Only two more weeks of that; I’ll attempt to keep it in check.